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For nearly 20 years, I have been married to an Eagle Scout who takes the Boy Scouts’ motto “Be Prepared” quite seriously. Any time we go on an excursion, he carries a backpack filled with almost anything we might need: sunscreen, bandages, portable phone chargers, even a change of clothes. His (over)preparedness has become sort of a running joke among our friends, but the gentle ribbing always ceases when they find themselves in need of something that only he has on hand
At first glance, Jesus’ parable about preparedness seems fairly straightforward. Ten young women are tasked with greeting and escorting their friend’s fiancé to the wedding banquet. Jesus calls the five who do not make contingency plans foolish and the five who do wise. The foolish women run out of oil for their lamps when their guest is delayed, and ultimately they miss out on the entire wedding banquet as a result of their carelessness.
A traditional reading of this story naturally leads us to villainize the foolish women while elevating the wise ones as heroes. But what if our heroes aren’t actually all that heroic?
The word Jesus uses to describe these five is φρόνιμος (phrónimos), which means prudent, sensible, even shrewd. It’s a different sort of wisdom from that bestowed upon giants of the faith, such as Solomon—σοφία (sophia)—which implies a much broader understanding of the greater context. The wisdom of the five women is focused on anticipating events and acting accordingly, not on listening and discernment.
It’s true that they are prepared, but prepared for what? They have enough oil to last them through the night, when they can fulfill their duty and deliver the groom to his bride. In other words, they are prepared to keep their own lamps burning, even if that means their peers will suffer and miss out. The wisdom of the women, then, takes on a tone of individual self-preservation rather than communal beneficence.
Technically, they get the answer right. They are prepared, they are ready, and they ultimately make it into the wedding banquet. But the parable ends with a word of caution for all of us: We will not always know when we need to be ready. This statement is not just an admonishment for the unprepared women; it is also a reminder that preparedness often includes a season of waiting. And the kind of people we are as we wait is just as important.
It is possible to be prepared and still miss something important. Who hasn’t forgotten a toothbrush when traveling? It is possible to have enough oil but not enough compassion. And if we read this parable in the larger context of Matthew’s Gospel, this is a significant piece of the puzzle that is missing. Throughout the narrative, Jesus calls his followers beyond self-preservation into lives of mercy, generosity, and love.
My spouse’s backpack can be the subject of jokes, but what makes his preparedness valuable is not that he has enough to cover the needs of our family. It’s that when anyone is in need, he is willing to open the bag and share what he has. The purpose of being prepared is not just to ensure that we have enough for ourselves, but to make us ready to respond when others do not.
The wisdom that Jesus uses to describe the five women is not wrong, but it is incomplete. The Kingdom of Heaven is not just a place where our own lamps continue to burn, and it is not just for those who know how to survive the night. It’s a place where our lamps light the way for others, and where there is enough light for all.
