I don’t remember what the advertisement was for. It could have been cologne or a clothing line or (God help us) crypto. It was, in any case, one of those plotless, atmosphere-heavy TV spots that conclude with the breathy announcement of a single name or word, the sort of commercial that used to tell you that you’re already supposed to know the name of the brand and that now just as often tells you, Here’s a new brand name to memorize. Pay attention, there’ll be a quiz.
Nevertheless, the fifth or fifteenth time I sat through it, I became conscious of a distinct and bad spiritual odor emanating from the TV, something that made this otherwise undistinguished commercial offensive in a special way. The source of that odor was the identity of the actor at the center of the camera. I barely recognized him at first—in my head he’s still Nancy’s boyfriend in the first A Nightmare on Elm Street or poor, beleaguered Edward Scissorhands, whereas for decades now he’s looked like Garfield the cat after a multiweek bender. Earlier in the decade, this actor had been “canceled” over accusations of domestic abuse by his ex-wife, also an actor (and also, in the movies, an ex-wife: Aquaman’s). Embarrassingly gruesome text messages authored by the actor, regarding what he’d like to do to said ex, were reported in the media. He made counteraccusations. The internet got involved.
Insofar as I gave the whole thing any thought—and this was exactly the sort of controversy that I try to stay aloof from, as an act of resistance against the great god Media—I suspected that most, or at least more, of the truth lay on the ex-wife’s side. I also found the whole thing sordid. As a person who has been in a relationship with an emotionally and verbally abusive woman myself, I resented the blithe way that some commentators dismissed the possibility that she had thrown the first punch. (My abusive ex would certainly not have scrupled to beat me if she’d seen any percentage in it.) I resented, too, the way that his PR campaign tried to weaponize the feelings of male abuse victims to keep us from weighing her claims seriously. Mostly I thought it very weird that millions of people should have passionate opinions about two strangers’ marriage.
