Pursuing pleasure

Our family moved from the D.C. area to a smaller town. There aren’t as many restaurants here, but there are numerous and accessible Farmer’s Markets. Since I no longer try to juggle two jobs as I did in D.C., I have a bit more time to shop and cook. I buy groceries almost every day, and sometimes go to more than one place to pick up the freshest bread. This simple shift in my routine costs less money. Yet, creating dishes, sitting down to a meal, and appreciating each bite has opened up a whole new world of tastes and pleasure. The joy of ripe avocadoes, whipping cream, grilled asparagus, and sweet berries made me wonder if there are other things that I could be doing differently in my life. Could I be pursuing happiness more?  

I’ve arrived relatively late to the Enneagram party. During a psychological evaluation in seminary, I learned that was a seven, the Epicure, but the number never made much sense to me. I was not a party-girl; I was an introvert. I was not a glutton; I was an ex-fundamentalist. I didn’t lack focus; I wrote books. Then, at a recent consultant’s retreat, we had an Enneagram facilitator. I asked her, “Is it possible to be an introverted seven, who grew up fundamentalist?”

When she said yes, I looked back at my life and work, certain things did make sense. Having fun, developing friendships, and reframing narratives are all things that sevens do well and they’re guiding principles for my work and life. Yet, there is one thing that I have not been able to do well: I haven’t sought pleasure. Much of my religious upbringing was about a list of don’ts. Whenever I read that Jesus came so that we might have life more abundantly, I assumed he meant after we die. Add to that, my family history is riddled with addiction. So I have always been very wary of pleasure.