I was a solo pastor, still in my 20s and serving a rural congregation, when I attended a continuing education event at a seminary. A lecturer led us through a typical case study about a couple of older women who were blocking the ideas of the younger members in the church. I was in the midst of similar struggles in my own congregation, so I became passionate during the discussion: “I get so frustrated! They hired me to bring younger people into the church, and now that young people are there, they want to drive them out!” In the process, I realized that I was undermining the point of the lecture—which was to make sure that the established members received proper care.
During the break, I walked up to the lecturer so that I could apologize for contradicting him. Not that I felt terribly bad, but a professor/friend told me that I could be “scary” as a student. So, I wanted to assure him that I was friendly and on his side. I joined him in the coffee line and as soon as we had filled our mugs, I offered him my hand and my warmest smile. “Hi. I’m Carol. Sorry I got fired up in there. I really appreciate the discussion. It just struck a chord, you know?”
He looked at me, with his brow wrinkled into a scold, “You. You have deep anger issues. You need to do some serious work and get some professional help for your issues before you will ever be a good pastor!” He didn’t bother to take my offered hand.
