The Quest for Love from the World
Needing love as a pastor is a difficult thing to gauge. For while it is completely human to need love, we must also acknowledge this moment of rampant narcissism.
“Every adult life could be said to be defined by two great love stories,” Alain de Botton wrote, “The first—the story of our quest for sexual love—is well charted…. The second—our quest for love from the world—is a more secret and shameful tale.”
I’m part of an on-line writing group. A few of us went to a Writers’ Conference. It was one of those gatherings where you spend most of your time talking with someone who is looking over your shoulder for someone more important. As we reflected on the experience, Katherine Willis Pershey encouraged us to read Status Anxiety in order to understand what was happening with our weirdly shattered egos. It opened my eyes to so many things. It spoke to me, not only as a writer, but as a pastor as well.
De Botton defines status as “love from the world.” As I read his words, I realize that if the “quest for love from the world” is a disgraceful feeling for most people, it must be doubly so for pastors. Yet, as we build a beloved community, we will, at times, need love. I’ve spent enough years in therapy to know that a love that negates ourselves becomes unhealthy and lop-sided.
