“Some more skilled future self”

Unlike animals that live in the moment and merely cope with the world (however smoothly), we are…drawn out of our present selves toward some more skilled future self that we emulate….[W]e are never fully at home in the world. We are always “on our way.” Or perhaps we should say that this state of being on our way to somewhere else is our peculiar human way of being here in the world. — Matthew Crawford, The World Beyond Your Head

Most therapists will say that a key to finding any kind of viable and lasting happiness in the world requires coming to peace with who you are. Not some future self that you wish you could be, not the person that you imagine yourself to be in your best moments, not the person that you will undoubtedly be two, five, ten years from now. No, the person staring back at you in the mirror. Unless you can believe that you are enough as you are—that you matter and have value even prior to all of the well-intentioned character modifications that inevitably loom over the next ridge of your life—you will never be at peace. Your striving will always be borne out of restlessness and dissatisfaction, rather than a desire for goodness.

And yet. So many of us live lives where from the moment we wake up until our heads hit the pillow at night, we are mocked and goaded by the “more skilled future self” that we have yet to become.