Hatred in my heart

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Have you ever been inordinately annoyed by someone else's clothing? I have, and in my experience this is a classic indicator of what this week's Leviticus reading calls “hating someone in my heart.” When I'm repressing anger or frustration, I suddenly notice the hideously out-of-date belt my relative is wearing, or the way-too-short-in-every-inseam pantsuit my co-worker has on. The clothes are never the true offense, of course, but they send off alarms: time to speak up. 

I first learned this lesson in a season of (repressed) conflict and disappointment with my father. With God’s help, I recognized the dynamic for what it was—not an easy task when one identifies as a nice Christian girl with no hatred, ever. Hatred? Yuck. What an ugly word.