Hoping to be noticed

Years ago I was very good at hope. I could hope for a more celebrated position, flatter abs, or to cross the finish of Ironman. I was also good at setting goals to achieve these ends: I put my head down and knocked them off.

The elation of accomplishing these goals and garnering a little attention for my efforts was a great high, but unfortunately it did not usually last long. The momentary stability and well-being I felt would soon slip away like every sandcastle ever built on every coast: God of the wind, rain, and waves eventually levels all.

This was as true of my spiritual life as it was of other aspects of my life. I wanted to excel spiritually as well as physically. I wanted spiritual attention just as I wanted physical attention. Who does not want to be noticed?