The nonbusy family

In her Motherlode post “I Refuse to Be Busy,” K.J. Dell’Antonia mostly bypasses some of the complaints of working mothers. She doesn’t, at least not in this post, discuss the pressures on parents who are pressing their kids toward the best school, the best jobs, etc. And while she gives a nod to Brigitte Schutle’s plea for “readily available and affordable day care,” Dell’Antonia doesn’t really address the very real economic issue of some moms and dads struggling to make ends meet.

But it’s what she does say in this post that I find encouraging. She echoes some of my own views on family and career with a couple of key comments and one implied truth.

The key comments? First of all, she debunks the spontaneous conversation comment of “I’m so busy” and claims that “we, as parents, choose some [not all] of what makes us ‘busy.’” I hope she can convince a few of her readers, including a few people I know who always bring up their busyness and seem to need it as a kind of affirmation of their worth. In my view, “I’m so busy” always stops a conversation.