Illness as hermitage: How Parkinsons became my spiritual practice

Since I received the diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease, I have had to slow down and simplify my life to accommodate my compromised energy. At the same time, new obligations—medical appointments, attention to diet, increased exercise—demand more of that energy I no longer have.

I am required to keep a stringent daily schedule. Finish breakfast at least an hour before the 7 a.m. meds. Practice yoga, but wait until two hours after a meal. Take the yellow pill three times a day, but keep four hours between it and the gray pill. Finish lunch an hour before the 1 p.m. meds. Take this at 4. Do that at 5. Remember this at 7. . . . Oh, and don’t be stressed.

There have been many losses. My self-image as a strong and vibrant woman seems not to fit anymore. I have to pay attention to my balance, think about how I walk, be careful not to fall. Be careful not to fall? When have I ever worried about falling? I have always acted and felt younger than my years. How did I get to be old so young?