The woman looked at me with fear, pain, and trust—all things that the church has instilled in its faithful all these centuries.
Several of my friends found inspiration in Katherine Willis Pershey’s recent encomium to fidelity in the Century. But I felt a strong aversion to the article, a reaction that’s led me into a period of self-examination. Upon reflection, I have almost no objection to the actual content of the article. It’s what Pershey doesn’t say—stuff she is not obliged to say—that has my attention.
Divorce is a time when we most need our brothers and sisters in faith. Yet churches and clergy often ignore divorcing people.
The newlyweds stood in worship surrounded by examples of the options for how their marriage will end. And 100 percent of marriages do end.
Recently, I learned that a young couple I know had filed for divorce after 18 months of marriage. By my calculations, they spent more time planning the wedding than being married.
In a marriage, two people with different backgrounds and often different values come together and work to merge their two worlds into some kind of unity. When they divorce, however, the job of making sense of their two worlds and the conflicts that arise between them gets handed from the adults to the child. Now the child is on his own to negotiate the different beliefs and values and ways of living that he finds in each parent's world.