Last week, I had a chance to teach at Omaha Presbyterian Seminary Foundation’s Pastors’ School. I love working with OPSF, since I received a scholarship from them as a student. They helped to make me the person I am, so I’m grateful for the opportunity to thank them.

There were a lot of interesting people on the Pastors’ School faculty. Gene Fowler was among them. He lead us through grief training, pointing out the difference between modern and postmodern ideas of grieving. I was sort of soaking in all of it and I didn’t take notes, so I don’t have direct quotes. But his lectures stuck with me, so I wanted to write my reflections on what Gene had to say.

Grief is not an obstacle course. When we talk about grief, we often speak of it in terms of letting go, moving on, and getting over it. People want to know when they will be back to normal. But the loss of a loved one is not a bump in the road that we go over and then the pavement is smooth again. Grief fundamentally changes who we are.