Sin, stones, and internal bleeding
One of the most dangerous effects of physical trauma is internal bleeding. It is insidious because it is often invisible, at least initially; internal organs can be gravely damaged with little or no outside evidence. The victim can walk, talk, and interact often to the point of seeming fine. Meanwhile, the body suffers, and once the damage is discovered, it can be irreparable.
I’ve been thinking about this lately because it so clearly reflects what sin can do to the spiritual self. Typically the pattern goes something like this: we recognize our sin, agonize over it, feel sorry for what we've done, and beg forgiveness. Sometimes this feels like enough; in the Gospels, Jesus’ constant love in the face of sin and the sinner is all-encompassing and freeing, washing us clean from guilt and shame.
Other times, however, the sin seems too horrific to be healed. Praying, saying the confession, and even entering into the liturgy of Reconciliation of a Penitent don't touch the hurt within. The guilt and shame take on a secret life of their own, polluting to the point that absolution seems absurd. Surely it is more right to continue suffering than somehow be released from these awful feelings. After all, we brought them upon ourselves.
