Another Ash Wednesday, another jelly-bean binge
Like a lot of Protestants, I've never been one to take the fasting element of Lent all that literally. But while I never set out to intentionally do the opposite, it sometimes seems to happen.
This morning, I ate half a bag of jelly beans. I haven't done that in years. Then, with my brain exploding with sugar and my mouth with fantastic artificial flavor, I remembered what day it is. It's as if I got the Fat Tuesday memo a day late, and also missed the part about using up perishable bad-for-you food, not junk you couldn't spoil if you tried.
Oh well. At least it's an excuse to remember this short "food review" I wrote several years ago for McSweeney's humor site. The original doesn't have a dedicated link (it's on this page somewhere), so I'll repost it below.
