3 myths about grief
Richard Niebuhr uses the metaphor of a shipwreck to describe those life experiences where what we thought would hold comes apart. A marriage ends, a career collapses, an illness shatters plans, a loved one dies. Pastors and congregations can be a lifeline.
Our culture, however, is mourning avoidant—and too often, faith communities reflect the broader culture's misconceptions surrounding grief.
Such grief illiteracy was at the heart of what parents were reacting to in their criticism of Joel Osteen’s revision of his book Your Best Life Now. Osteen describes a couple who lost their only son years ago as wallowing in self-pity. The fact that they still tear up when their son is mentioned means they “don’t want to get well.” He admonishes, “If you really want to get well you need to move on with your life.” He assumes “they like the attention too much” and castigates their failure to respond to others “trying to lift them up.” Then he insists that “unless you let go of the old, God will not bring the new.”
