This is why . . .

First, you get a question. “What is God's will for my life?” or “Are my parents really in purgatory” or “What about babies who die before they are baptized?” or “What about all those people who lived before Jesus was born?” or any one of a number of questions you get when you wear the funny shirt with the little white tab in the middle.

Even though you’ve heard it before, the person asking you is asking for the first time. You want to honor their seeking and respect them for coming to you and exposing a spiritual frailty, particularly in a culture that despises uncertainty and multivalence as ours does. There’s a voice in your head that is screaming at you to give them the “right” answer—but that won't respect the question. That won't honor the pursuit of wisdom. In the words of a popular cliche, that's giving them a fish, not teaching them to fish.

So even though there’s a part of you that's dying to trample all over the terrible question and all the bad answers people have given over the years, you hold back. You shut up. You gently turn it around and let them have the question to ponder. You wait, hoping, praying.