The wedding flees the church

So, 34 couples got married in a live, mass wedding during the Grammy Awards. Queen Latifah (no, not ordained) officiated at the ceremony, against a projected image of stained glass windows. A gospel choir joined in singing behind Madonna while the couples, old and young, gay and straight, exchanged rings.

I’m not going to lie: I have mixed feelings about this spectacle. I’m clergy, so performing wedding ceremonies, along with all the preparation and education that goes with them, is a job I take seriously. I develop a personal relationship with every couple, helping them converse about everything from their parents’ marriages (and divorces) to who’s going to take out the trash. I pray with them and for them, write their unique wedding liturgies and sign their licenses. For some couples, marriage preparation will be the first time they’ve been in church since their confirmation—or baptism—and may be the last time they drop in until their first child is born, or ever. I value that fleeting opportunity to reach out to people who are making a significant emotional and spiritual turning point in their lives, and let them know God is walking beside them.

So the idea of having a live, televised group wedding in which the participants are selected by a casting agency comes off to me as a little crass.