(Wo)manifesto

Since Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO, has been urging us to lean in, conversations have been buzzing about what it means to be a feminist. I’m always thankful for the opportunity to revisit the question.

I was not alive in the 1960s. This seems to be an important fact when it comes to feminism, because the dialogue around the movement morphs and changes among the generations, often causing misunderstanding or animosity between different waves.  I grew up in a conservative Christian household, where I was taught that women should submit to men, women should not work outside of the home, and the “F” word was a dirty one. Feminists were painted in an ugly light—quite literally. I was told frequently that they were unattractive. All they cared about was burning their bras and their sole purpose was to make sure women had access to abortion (my fingers shudder to go on with the portrayals…so I will stop).

These constant messages burrowed under our skin because they undermined a woman’s sexual and procreative power (I think that’s the reason evangelical women often use the word “egalitarian”). In a strange way, just as women can be sexualized in pop culture, we could also be sexualized in strict fundamentalists circles, because as we focused on our gender, we reduced women to sexuality. Our worth and identity centered around purity before we were married and mothering after we were married.