Feature

How to con a pastor

A few friendly pointers

So you’ve decided to make your way in life by bilking ministers. There are easier strategies; most pastors don’t have much money. Moreover, defrauding clergy violates several of the Ten Commandments—seven and eight, most obviously, but also a side of two and, if it’s a Sunday, three.

But if you’re going to do it anyway, at least try to give us a decent performance. Having spent a number of years now in the kinds of churches that entertain the travelers of the grift circuit, I’ve learned a few things about rip-off attempts. I’ve seen some great efforts—even some leaving me uncertain that they were scams—and others that were just shamefully bad. How can you increase your odds of walking away with some cash?

Don’t appeal to naked pity. Straight-up sob stories are not usually effective. We hear a lot of them. We give a lot of our money, and sometimes our congregation’s money, to fund social service agencies and other emergency aid outlets. And a lot of us are compassion burnouts. We need variety in our lives like anyone else.