March 2, Transfiguration (Exodus 34:29-35; 2 Corinthians 3:12-4:2; Luke 9:28-36, (37-43a))
Peter, James, and John are all of us.
Entering the hospital room as a student chaplain, I saw a visitor standing to one side. A middle-aged man in a felt cap and corduroy jacket, he was the pastor of the man in the hospital bed. After a few pleasantries, the pastor turned to me and said, “I was just wondering whether Jesus had any female apostles.”
I did not debate him. Instead, I addressed the man who was hospitalized, offered to return if he needed a chaplain, and excused myself. It was the first time anyone had challenged me directly like that, taking issue with my particular ministry and not just with the concept of women pastors.
His voice stayed with me, likely because it echoed other voices with a greater authority in my life, people I respected and loved who thought, for no other reason than my gender, that I could not legitimately be a pastor. But beyond all those voices is the voice of God in scripture—which I’ve sought to hear to the best of my ability, with the Spirit’s help—and what I’ve understood as the voice of God in moments of encounter. For that reason, I have persisted despite my lack of certitude. As Paul writes in this week’s second reading, “therefore, since it is by God’s mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart.”
