Pastoral care in the pulpit
This Sunday’s lectionary texts are particularly awful. I’m like the boy who cried wolf with bad lectionary selections, but hear me out on this one. At my church, we are using track two, the thematic track, of the RCL. Here are the lessons for Sunday.
- Genesis 2:18-24 – the second story of the creation of humanity, including such favorites as “it is not good that man should be alone,” “this at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh,” and “therefore a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh.”
- Psalm 8 – the “How Great Thou Art” Psalm
- Hebrews 1:1-4; 2:5-12 – Christology and Angelology all in one tidy, selected verse package.
- Mark 10:2-16 – Questions on divorce and, inexplicably, Jesus blessing children
As I’ve run around like an idiot this week, I’ve had several sermons jump into my brain, but I’m pretty sure none of them are worth preaching. Here’s my list of things you shouldn’t preach this Sunday in the name of Pastoral Care from the Pulpit.
- Any joke about the lonely man, lost in a paper bag because he refused to stop and ask for directions
- Any joke involving Adam, upon seeing Eve, shouting WOAH! MAN!
- Any sermon meant to correct greeting card theology about angels that includes the line, “I know you think great aunt Martha is wearing wings and a halo and playing a harp on a cloud next to Jesus, but lemme tell you, human beings don’t get to be angels…”
- Any sermon that begins, “All right, all of my adulterers, raise your hands!”
These all seemed funnier as they ran through my mind earlier, but it is too late to go back and start over now.
