October 11, 28th Sunday in Ordinary Time: Psalm 22:1-15

This summer I had the great pleasure of traveling to Korea, where most of my extended family and all but a few of my wife’s relatives live. The main purpose of our trip was to attend my wife’s youngest sister’s wedding, but we were also able to connect with many friends and family members we hadn’t seen in a long time. The wedding was a wonderful celebration that, culturally speaking, felt as if it could have been taking place in Chicago.

There was, however, another family gathering—one more somber and steeped in Korean tradition. It opened me up to a deep sense of connection with my family and my ancestral culture. On one of our first evenings there, my family attended a ceremony memorializing the death of my great-grandfather. The ceremony, called jesa, occurs on the anniversary of an ancestor’s death. Following traditional guidelines, family members prepare a meal to “serve” to the ancestor. Incense is lit, drinks are offered, and respect is shown through traditional greetings.

There are conflicting views on the spiritual significance of this ceremony. It was condemned as idol worship by Protestant missionaries, so modern Korean Protestants generally shun the practice. I believe that I can participate without any compromise to my own faith. But that theological controversy aside, for me the important thing about these gatherings is that they are among the few occasions when all the generations gather around common tables. We gather to eat—mountains of food are prepared—and to hear old, hard stories about those who have gone before us.