In the Bible, gender is not binary

I’m not proud to admit it, but the first time I met a trans person, I felt awkward. It was 1999, and I was visiting my friend Jean in the hospital. Sitting up under a canvas of clean white sheets, she was telling me about a friend of hers who had recently transitioned from male to female. As if on cue, that friend appeared. Bounding with energy, she swept into the room. Tall and lanky, with long, curly, strawberry blond hair, she wore jeans, a crisp white blouse with the top three buttons undone, a simple gold chain, and dangling gold earrings. “You look great,” Jean pronounced from her hospital bed.

“Thanks,” this beautiful woman beamed. “I didn’t even get any strange looks on my way over here. . . . But it was my first time riding a bicycle since the operation.” Then she added a monosyllabic reflection on the experience: “Ouch.” I had no idea how to respond, so I offered a small smile that I hoped would suggest support more than shock. The idea of someone undergoing gender confirmation surgery was new and almost alarming to me then.

My understanding of gender identities has expanded greatly in the intervening years. Reading books by transgender writers, especially Jennifer Finney Boylan’s She’s Not There, helped me to appreciate how hard it can be for trans people—and for queer people more broadly—to live into themselves. People who have the courage and support to claim their sexual orientation or gender identity often face discrimination, recrimination, and even criminalization. The violence done to queer people, especially those who are trans or nonbinary, can be physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual.