How do we help children weave a healthy faith?

“How do I talk to my kids about God?” has always been a popular question among parents, and it seems to be even more popular now, with increasing numbers of people healing from the wounds Christianity gave them. Even for those who haven’t been harmed by the church, conversations with children about God can be difficult to navigate. Meredith Miller wrote Woven to give parents and other caregivers a paradigm for talking about faith with children. She believes that teaching kids about God isn’t a one-size-fits-every-family situation, so she offers a variety of guidelines and tools.

It’s tempting for parents to do nothing or to wait until their children are older. Miller warns against this approach, because “doing nothing isn’t neutral.” Much of a person’s view of the world is developed in childhood, and a child may interpret the absence of faith discussion as deprioritizing faith. Parents may be hesitant to talk to their kids about faith because of the possibility that the children will be hurt by Christianity. However, Miller notes, all children will learn about God one way or another, and what they learn about God outside the family may not be life-giving or invite their curiosity. If parents believe that it’s important to include a positive view of God in their children’s lives, they should start these conversations early.

Miller uses the imagery of a spiderweb as a metaphor for how faith should be constructed. If our faith is built of blocks, doubts will slowly create cracks in the wall, and the wall will eventually fall down. Each question wears away at the blocks, and depending on where the wear is, the wall may not recover. Alternatively, a spiderweb is strong yet flexible; it can withstand pressure without breaking. Similarly, Miller argues, a child’s faith should be able to withstand pressure. Nobody benefits from a faith that’s so rigid that one doubt will bring down everything.