Theology and same-sex marriage

In a few weeks, my partner Daniel and I will celebrate five years of marriage. Since we live in Minnesota, where same-sex marriage is not legal, it was not something recognized by the state. But our marriage, our joining together, was blessed by the church. We had our ceremony at an Episcopal church in the southern Twin Cities suburbs.

As Minnesota gears up for a vote on the state limiting marriage to just between a man and a woman, I’ve been thinking about same-sex marriage and marriage in general.  What is the theology behind it?  Is there one?  I know that conservatives will say that heterosexual marriage is ordained by God and liberals will talk about same sex marriage with talk of equality and love, but frankly none that really satisfies me.  What does it mean for two people, regardless if they are same sex or traditional, to come before God and the gathered community to have their union blessed?  Is it important to be married?  Why is infidelity wrong within a marriage?

I don’t think the church has done a good job of figuring this out.  We haven’t done it with heterosexual marriage and we seem to be doing the same thing when it comes to same-sex marriage.  As followers of Christ, what does it mean to be married, especially in a culture where marriage seems to not be taken so seriously?