Experiencing Eucharist

I grew up attending Bible and Baptist
churches; now I generally identify with the emerging church. So I've had quite
a learning curve at the Episcopal seminary where I'm studying. Between
balancing prayer books and hymnals and crash courses in chanting, I've frequently
felt like a stranger in a strange land.

I am open to learning this new rhythm of
worship, however foreign it feels at times. But I am discovering that I
struggle with the observance of the Eucharist. My issue isn't theology but
method: as I pray the same words each time I partake, I feel constrained and
long for something more. I'm not bored or looking to be entertained, I just
feel the need for our remembrance of Christ's sacrifice to reflect the infinite
diversity of the body of Christ.

I didn't grow up with diversity in
eucharistic practice. On the first Sunday of the month we were instructed to
search our hearts, confess our sins and then grab an oyster cracker and a plastic
shot glass full of juice (always juice). Only in the last few years has the act
of taking the bread and cup moved me to accept the call to live eucharistically
in the world. This happened only when I saw the Eucharist set free from its
traditional rituals.