A woman came to my house recently whose
husband I had helped put in jail the day before. One day she felt afraid of his
violence. The next she felt ambivalent about her choice, and she wanted my help
to get him out of jail. While I had helped her call the police, I wasn't
willing to pay his bond.

Instead, I said, "Why don't you take a day off?
He's in jail. He's safe, fed and not drinking. Why don't you take your daughter
and go to the woods? Spend a day walking and clearing your own head."

She looked at me, perhaps justifiably, like I
was insane. She told me, basically, that this was as selfish and worthless a
solution as she could imagine. She had no intention of taking her enormous
problem to the woods.