This month millions of families around the world will gather dutifully and joyfully for a traditional ritual meal. Around the edges of some of the more traditional gatherings—the ones where the chief chefs and hosts are grandparents or the age of grandparents—the siblings and cousins of the next-oldest generation will begin to talk together. A whispered conspiracy may take shape with these words, "One of us has to host the family next year; we can't ask Mom and Dad to do it again. It's getting to be too much for them."
"And besides, they don't seem to really enjoy it."
"I know. They work so hard to make everything happen. They never sit and relax."
"Not only that, while we're eating they start washing dishes, preparing the turkey carcass for soup and making up take-home plates for everyone. We never actually get to see or talk to them."