This is the season, trees stripped clean and what was hidden now is seen, the path that leads into the woods, the littered leaves, the crooked walls that once marked fields where grass grew tall, remnants of a time long past, reminding me that nothing lasts.
Will death be like this, do you think, the day the breath does not return, will our true nature be revealed when stripped of memory, heart, bone, sight, will we, too, open to the sky, and, like the forest, fill with light?
"More later" ends her every note but "more" or "later" never comes so what is more I'll never know though later I can understand as weeks and months and years go by with many things still left unsaid as we creep closer to the edge, and after that who knows what's next? Though she might say oblivion, the body buried, dust to dust, I believe in things unseen, the mystery of something more, the thin place where two worlds meet, the numinous in roots and wings.
Kneeling on Boston Common it's this foot, naked, resting in my lap with clean towel, socks, warm water waiting, that tells me this is what happens after a cold winter of deep snow when you're homeless in dirty socks and cracked shoes that don't fit: this foot, bloody, swollen, toes deformed, I wash gently, first one, then the other, and never have I felt so close to Jesus, his feet, bare, pierced, bloodied, nailed to the wooden cross.
I hoped that you might show yourself for after all we'd often talked of what might happen after death but so far there is only this; the way leaves shook in sudden wind as we prayed beside your grave, acorns striking heads, hands, feet, and we looked up, expecting you —it was, it seemed, your kind of joke— but all we saw was silent sky which is to say that life goes on: trees drop their leaves and snow falls soft as children starve and glaciers crack, and so far you have not appeared although it's true I sometimes think that late one night as I lay sleeping you, in secret, slipped inside for in the dawn light when I woke, sun rising like an open heart spilling forth a sea of love, in that moment, ah, bright wings, I saw the world. through your eyes.