Negotiating our notions of self

I
just got back from a few days of speaking and preaching, so it feels good to
settle into the kitchen table, surrounded by the colors I love, and sipping out
of the coffee mug that fits my hand. I talked a lot in the last three days, so
I'm enjoying the silence. I was speaking about church in a new generation--something
about which I'm passionate.

It
occurred to me as I was talking about the situation in which many young adults
find themselves, that we might need a new definition of selfhood. Right now, it
seems that we define ourselves by our independence and our careers.

Sociologists
like to think of people in their twenties as living in the "Odyssey years," or
"extending their adolescence" because they don't have a marriage certificate or
a mortgage. (Believe me, I could go on a full-on rant about this, but I will
refrain.) It is as if becoming married and buying a house defines a person as
an adult. It's as if we believe that each 18 year old ought to be completely
self-sufficient and independent in order to be considered grown-up. As if
personhood itself depends on autonomy.