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"Previously, [the Patent Office] helped the football team by giving them a monopoly on the word and promising to go after others who violated that monopoly. It won't any longer. Nonetheless, commentators continue to describe the situation in exactly the opposite way."

"Placating these men is a rational choice, a form of self-defense to protect against setting off an aggressor. But to male bystanders, it often looks like a warm welcome."

"'The kid chose jail,' Glassberg says. 'How can I compete with that?'"

"It’s not enough to run and hide when the police approach. A man intent on staying out of jail cannot call the police when harmed, or make use of the courts to settle disputes."

"In order to save mid-sized farms for the sake of the food movement and the people who own them, we’ll need to learn how talk to each other first."

"'Now listen, son,' Tony started, stopping periodically to catch his breath, as he was laughing too hard. 'You're bringing down the team here, with that earring.'"

"Parenting is now a competitive sport, just like everything else. What do we get if we win?"

"If I say so out loud, I will be run out of town by a bunch of fringe elements that thinks climate science is a liberal plot so I'm going to just pretend like, I don't know, I can't read."

"'Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing,' Jesus said after reading that passage. 'No it hasn't,' said Jonathan Edwards."

"The people who collected your data are in prison for fraud or took funding from an evil billionaire who lives in a castle on a mountain where there is always lightning."

"I just took off my clothes and threw the fruit basket to help me focus."

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