“If one of us dies of an overdose, probably 10 people who were about to won’t.”
"If early childhood education were an actor, it would be Tom Hanks or Meryl Streep. If it were a video game, it would be Candy Crush or Angry Birds."
"Ann Coulter and Hanna Rosin both infer that these women's reproductive decisions were dictated by their conservative views on abortion, not the other way around."
"Mudslides, skateboarding, bullrush and tree climbing kept the children so occupied the school no longer needed a timeout area or as many teachers on patrol."
“Ventra sucks. They can pry my Chicago Card Plus out of my cold dead hand.”
"Next debate at the Yale Political Union: How much more money than God should Yale students have?"
"We’re over here, sleeping through the night, taking long quiet baths, and going out to eat on the spur of the moment. If you can find it in your full but weary hearts to pity us, try."
"Can you not keep watch for one hour without texting?!!"