As long as the ascension is in any way related to upward movement (like an elevator going to the clouds), I am and will continue to be unmoved. The vertical directional imagery just doesn’t do it for me. I am not even moved to argue about whether or not “it” happened.
The doctrine of the ascension may have been given bad press because of its popular meaning, which seems related to ideas like “ascending to the third floor,” and less often to “ascending to the place of power.” That is, it’s vertical. Most people’s views of the ascension center on the image of Jesus going up in the clouds.