Bald facts
A new hair color
Jul 13, 2004
by Martin E. Marty
Montana is to be envied for its great Great Plains, its purple mountain majesties, and its celebration of color. The state motto is colorfully Oro y Plata, gold and silver. Its flower is the bitterroot, a delicious pink and white bloom. And, on fishing- and driver’s-license applications, Montana cites “bald” as a color preference.
After reading about Montana, I, along with fellow baldies in other color-impoverished states, examined my driver’s license. Having just passed my drivers-senility test in Illinois, I figured the data would be up-to-date. Not quite: my listed weight, at 150, is two decades of pounds too light. The eyes remain GRAY and I still have a restriction: “Must wear corrective lenses.” But when I checked my hair color, I found there was no such category.
After reading about Montana, I, along with fellow baldies in other color-impoverished states, examined my driver’s license. Having just passed my drivers-senility test in Illinois, I figured the data would be up-to-date. Not quite: my listed weight, at 150, is two decades of pounds too light. The eyes remain GRAY and I still have a restriction: “Must wear corrective lenses.” But when I checked my hair color, I found there was no such category.
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