Unconscious pleasures

Judging by the typos in a recent sample of church bulletins, the pleasures of the senses haunt the unconscious minds of many Christians. Food is, of course, high on the list. We wondered what happened to the bread of life in this verse from “Here I Am, Lord,” quoted in a recent bulletin: “I, the Lord of wind and flame,/I will tend the poor and lame./I will set a feast for them,/ my hand will save./Finest breast I will provide.” Of chicken, of course.

Do you wish to become a minister in the presbytery of Giddings-Lovejoy, Texas? The application for membership first wants you to “sigh your name and date” and then promise that you will be “a faithful minister, proclaiming the food news in Word and Sacrament.” No doubt thereby making a clean breast of things.

The United Methodist church in Ransom, Kansas, seems to be going into roasting in a big way. A Sunday worship folder declares that “Kara Berry lighted the acolytes on the altar.”


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